Appreciate...!
Everyone you meet and almost everything you see has a flavour, presence and impact. Have you thought about that lately? The poker faced druid who poses as my cook churns up his usual array of mildly flavoured lentils and 'fluffy' Indian pancakes with deceptive ease, so much so that the delicious lunches have become a habit. But today, I decided to appreciate, and to really let him 'feel' my pleasure. "Cook', said I, 'The chicken gravy dish was simply delicious" .
Silence.....No response. I thought he hadn't quite caught it and so I repeated my thanks. "Hmph" said the cook turning away. Gathering up my bewildered feelings, (I expectd at least a thanks), I thought I saw his left cheek heave itself up a fraction.
W..ell! I thought! I was just trying to appreciate, I shrugged. The next evening, as the bowl seemed licked clean of its contents, the dour faced fellow, actually revealed his broken teeth "every last bite eaten up!" he exclaimed.
"Demonstrate your appreciation" This is what I learnt that day.Verbal expressions mean little unless accompanied by actions. Increasing positive thoughts and actions minimises stress and genuinely appreciating someone or something, however small, adds a positive anywhere.
I went off to spruce up my little collection of thoughts on 'De-stressing"
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
De-stressing Habit # 3
Forgive.....I know that's easier said than done.
So your boss seems hell bent on making life miserable.Every one of your brilliant ideas were trashed in the bin and you were left feeling desolate until you heard somebody mentioning how your boss had 'stolen' your idea and taken all the credit for it.
Same old story!
So your boss seems hell bent on making life miserable.Every one of your brilliant ideas were trashed in the bin and you were left feeling desolate until you heard somebody mentioning how your boss had 'stolen' your idea and taken all the credit for it.
Same old story!
You've probably got many more to share.......and where does it all lead? Anger and simmering resentment makes you walk off in a huff. You swear all the way home, nearly ramming your car into a trailer, snap at your spouse, scare off the kids and get a rumdingger of a headache. That's the end of your quiet relaxed evening. Whew! Vicious circle!
Yet, just try and forgive. Tell yourself that in the end excellence surely wins....Oh...you needn't wait till the end. Just continue to build goodwill, come across as someone who's 'amiable' instead of uptight and complaining. Forgive....and you'll be surprised how others are humbled. Just try it...once....! And tell me what happened when you actually forgave.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Destressing Habit # 2
Outsource.......
Blast the alarm clock! You grope around sleepily to douse out its irritating jangle! But you fumble out of bed anyway and hastily throw on your shoes for jogging.The sun's barely up but your busy mind ticks off tasks that you know need to be done by midday. A zillion tasks pop-up while you mentally struggle to chock-up a halfway decent schedule that leaves you some time for lunch! Your mind teteering on despair, you wish you could complete your tasks in half the time. Sheesh! You desperately need to balance your life better!
Yes, you know that's possible, and no, you don't need to compromise on quality. The last temp you trained left you feeling so weary that you vowed you'd never hire anyone again. Well, don't! But you can still get your work done in half the time. Maybe I sound too smug, but I'll tell you my secret, not that its one anymore, because many professionals and entrepreneurs are doing it with great satisfaction. They are outsourcing their routine as well as specialised tasks.
What exactly is outsourcing? Well, outsourcing means hiring a virtual assistant (VA)who could be an individual or a firm located in any part of the globe, but who has the recumbent skills for fulfilling you work-related needs. The only difference is that a VA invariably connects and works with you on a regular basis through the internet, because he/she might live in another time geographical zone. For example, a travel journalist like Rita desperately needed to redesign and manage her website, but she seemed to be always short of time. After researching the net, she outsourced website design to Gracy, a skilled graphic designer who designed her site in record time, and also took over the task of periodically updating it. Pleased with her success, she began looking for a an accomplished tutor for her twelve year old son. Since she traveled a lot, she needed someone who could satisfactorily take over this very personal task. Being rather finicky about finding a subject- expert as well as a child-friendly tutor all rolled into one, she again approached the VA firm who helped her to find a tutor. Although her VA lived halfway across the world, he not only possessed the expertise, but also agreed to work on a schedule that suited Rita and her son.
Wow! Wouldn't it be great if you did the same? Just think, you could have all the time in the world to concentrate on the tasks that you'd rather do yourself and rest of the time, you can literally destress.....because you know that your VA will pay your bills, manage your accounts, book your tickets, send thank-you notes and everything imaginable at work, except perhaps do your push-ups for you!
You can truly destress now, because you know that many of your important tasks are getting completed while you take that much needed midday snooze.
Blast the alarm clock! You grope around sleepily to douse out its irritating jangle! But you fumble out of bed anyway and hastily throw on your shoes for jogging.The sun's barely up but your busy mind ticks off tasks that you know need to be done by midday. A zillion tasks pop-up while you mentally struggle to chock-up a halfway decent schedule that leaves you some time for lunch! Your mind teteering on despair, you wish you could complete your tasks in half the time. Sheesh! You desperately need to balance your life better!
Yes, you know that's possible, and no, you don't need to compromise on quality. The last temp you trained left you feeling so weary that you vowed you'd never hire anyone again. Well, don't! But you can still get your work done in half the time. Maybe I sound too smug, but I'll tell you my secret, not that its one anymore, because many professionals and entrepreneurs are doing it with great satisfaction. They are outsourcing their routine as well as specialised tasks.
What exactly is outsourcing? Well, outsourcing means hiring a virtual assistant (VA)who could be an individual or a firm located in any part of the globe, but who has the recumbent skills for fulfilling you work-related needs. The only difference is that a VA invariably connects and works with you on a regular basis through the internet, because he/she might live in another time geographical zone. For example, a travel journalist like Rita desperately needed to redesign and manage her website, but she seemed to be always short of time. After researching the net, she outsourced website design to Gracy, a skilled graphic designer who designed her site in record time, and also took over the task of periodically updating it. Pleased with her success, she began looking for a an accomplished tutor for her twelve year old son. Since she traveled a lot, she needed someone who could satisfactorily take over this very personal task. Being rather finicky about finding a subject- expert as well as a child-friendly tutor all rolled into one, she again approached the VA firm who helped her to find a tutor. Although her VA lived halfway across the world, he not only possessed the expertise, but also agreed to work on a schedule that suited Rita and her son.
Wow! Wouldn't it be great if you did the same? Just think, you could have all the time in the world to concentrate on the tasks that you'd rather do yourself and rest of the time, you can literally destress.....because you know that your VA will pay your bills, manage your accounts, book your tickets, send thank-you notes and everything imaginable at work, except perhaps do your push-ups for you!
You can truly destress now, because you know that many of your important tasks are getting completed while you take that much needed midday snooze.
Destressing Habit #1
Be kind to yourself....
Increasingly, professionals on the fast track leave behind important 'life valuables'. After you've juggled impossible work schedules, whizzed through life-saving business deals while you managed to fit in all those extra jobs and chores that add value to your work, you've sacrificed an important 'life valuable' called peace.
Who better than you knows that sometimes you feel unnecessarily irritable, difficult and downright tired. No, a drink is scarcely the solution. You need to try something better. Again its just a ten-minute solution and it works best if you are completely alone when you do this:
Increasingly, professionals on the fast track leave behind important 'life valuables'. After you've juggled impossible work schedules, whizzed through life-saving business deals while you managed to fit in all those extra jobs and chores that add value to your work, you've sacrificed an important 'life valuable' called peace.
Who better than you knows that sometimes you feel unnecessarily irritable, difficult and downright tired. No, a drink is scarcely the solution. You need to try something better. Again its just a ten-minute solution and it works best if you are completely alone when you do this:
- Get comfortable and put off harsh lights.
- Loosen your clothes and put your favourite music on, preferably something slow.
- If there are no favourites, listen to slow music like 'Tears in heaven' by Eric Clapton or something sensuous like 'Woman in Love' by Barbra Streisand.
- Imagine you're singing the song, concentrate on the words, listen to each beat, notice the timbre of the voice and wallow in the beauty of the sound.
- Concentrate.....simply put your mind to it and imagine the music is soaking up all your worries and taking away your tiredness.
Most of all believe that you need this simple ten-minute break for yourself because in this big busy world, there's still pure joy in simple pleasures.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Release stress in just ten minutes
Admit it, you need to calm down, or you'll just about burst. Well, here are some tips to destress:
- Be loyal to yourself and take ten minutes off for just yourself
- Put on soft music in a quiet room with a bed.
- Now take two thin strips of cotton, the size of your eye, dip in cold scented (probably rose)water. Lie down flat on your back and put them over closed eyelids, press around the edges to feel the coolness.
- While you are lying down, tell yourself that you will think of nothing...and I mean absolutely nothing. You will only listen to the music and you imagine the coolness seeping through your eyelids into the inner recesses of your being.
- And while you are at it, you will forgive every little disturbance in your life, even if you can't immediately forget.
- Dip the cotton strips again if they begin to feel a bit warmer and slip back into your reverie.
- Concentrate on how the membrane of your eyes is slowly relaxing and how your limbs are loosing their stiffness.
- Imagine yourself in space, the vastness, the immense space and remind yourself that you are just a particle in time, a time that's fast fleeting.........while the coolness envelops you and wipes out all your worries...at least for now!
Sure, life goes on, but you can still take ten minutes out for yourself, can't you?
Is Anger Ruining Your Life?
Probably...you've said all the things you didn't really mean, and even if you did mean some of them, you realise now that they were better left unsaid.
You nod to yourself convince your wavering mind...serve him/her right! You've vented out your feelings...and if it is a loved one at the other end...the damage is done!
So, what did you really achieve...did you shout out obscenities, curse and swear while your children cowered behind the curtains in sheer terror! If you were at office, did you rant and create a scene while your juniors shivered in their shoes...and if so..did you unwittingly drive away compassion that was perhaps coming your way?
Worst of all....do you do this often? If you do, you probably feel you have the right to ruin another person's peace of mind. Are you continually doing so specially to those who happen to be in a weaker position compared to you? Did you notice the tears and the look of utter despair?
Yes, mistakes were committed, maybe they weren't so grave. Maybe there's a way to turn them around. After all the world didn't come to an end, did it!
Don't you feel you need to be able to take a deep breath and control yourself? Don't you feel you need to show you care, especailly when things go wrong!
You nod to yourself convince your wavering mind...serve him/her right! You've vented out your feelings...and if it is a loved one at the other end...the damage is done!
So, what did you really achieve...did you shout out obscenities, curse and swear while your children cowered behind the curtains in sheer terror! If you were at office, did you rant and create a scene while your juniors shivered in their shoes...and if so..did you unwittingly drive away compassion that was perhaps coming your way?
Worst of all....do you do this often? If you do, you probably feel you have the right to ruin another person's peace of mind. Are you continually doing so specially to those who happen to be in a weaker position compared to you? Did you notice the tears and the look of utter despair?
Yes, mistakes were committed, maybe they weren't so grave. Maybe there's a way to turn them around. After all the world didn't come to an end, did it!
Don't you feel you need to be able to take a deep breath and control yourself? Don't you feel you need to show you care, especailly when things go wrong!
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